The Biscuit Gamer

Trying to define what is a gamer is a long and arduous task and something that has been done to death. I consider gaming to be an inclusive hobby ranging through PC gamers, consoles and mobile. In my opinion if you play games on your mobile, this makes you a gamer. For me it’s not about what is a gamer but more “What type of gamer?”

You can tell I’m a little bit of a chunky monkey as I’m far too fond of the food based metaphor, so ladies and gentlemen, after the “Finger buffet gamer” I present to you my latest study based on my wife Cat, “The biscuit gamer”

It’s a discussion that comes up every so often in our household as my wife doesn’t really consider herself a gamer and it could be argued that my influence has introduced her to more gaming. It can also be said that she’s been playing the same Chef game on her iPad for at least a year, if she’s not into gaming that’s some great commitment that she has there.

So how do we define the “biscuit gamer”?

Primarily the name comes from the rather delicious/disgusting habit of dunking biscuits into your cup of tea. I’m not here to argue the merits of such a habit but if you don’t like dunking your biscuits in your tea, then you’re wrong. I’m digressing but the analogy here is that like a nice biscuit dunking, my wife likes to dip into gaming like you dip your biscuit into tea. You don’t do it very often but when you do it’s delicious.

It also defines your gaming habits, like a good biscuit dunk you can’t leave the biscuit in the tea too long or remove it too quickly. Remove it too fast and the end result isn’t as satisfying yet leave it dunked for too long and the biscuit disintegrates leaving a mushy mess combined with bitter disappointment. Cat enjoys gaming but experiences gaming fatigue a lot sooner than I do, she is the biscuit that disintegrates if she games for too long. I’ve thought about this a little too long as I could even break games into different biscuits…

You’ve got your “Rich tea” biscuit, once described by the late Great Sir Terry Wogan as the “Lord of all biscuits”. A biscuit who’s very purpose is tied intrinsically to dunking in your cuppa. The Rich tea however cannot stand to be in the Tea for very long, and as such I equate games such as Speedrunners, Tricky Towers, Broforce and Castle Crashers as being the Rich Tea dunkers. These games are delicious morsels enjoyed in short bursts but not something the biscuit gamer can remain focused on for any long period

Next we come to Digestives biscuits, slightly sturdier than the Rich Tea brethren and apparently the top selling biscuit for their manufacturer here in the UK. The Digestive biscuit lasts a bit longer dunked in the tea and for me can cover such games like Sonic Mania or Crash Bandicoot. The biscuit gamer has an interest in the subject matter, Cat loves some older properties from when she was younger thus Sonic and Crash. She can play these for a bit longer before the fatigue sets in/the biscuit disintegrates. The digestive biscuit it used for those rare moments she wishes to play by herself while the Rich Tea is a lighter “snack” for those multiplayer evenings at Chez Chard.

Now the mighty Hobnob, a solid beast of a biscuit that can withstand a large amount of dunking. The honour of the Hobnob is going in my mind to games such as “The last of us”. The first story based game that Cat really enjoyed, the first one to really make her lose track of the time. Hobnob games draw you into their world soaking up all that tea based goodness.

There is an argument to say Cat developed more gaming tendencies from living with a gamer(Hi) but in truth, I think it’s always been there for her but with the Stigma that she’s not a Real gamer attached. Games, like biscuit dunking is a pastime that everyone should be able to enjoy freely.

Author: Jon

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